I need to start at the beginning so bare with me please
I used to be the typical woman wanting an expensive buggy, beautiful room for my baby with all the unnecessary but pretty things and terrified of giving birth. However life/destiny/god? had other plans for me. After getting rid of the birth control pill and not menstruating for couple of months I realized there was something wrong with me and long story short, my doctor told me that if I want to ever have a baby, we will need to use IVF. I won’t bore you with details, it was a long 4 years during which we tried 4 times, I was pregnant with twins and lost them at 8 weeks, exercised, lost weight, became pregnant again…. During this time I kept reading a lot..books, internet, forums…and my view of birth giving underwent a huge change. I started to see how important this single act was for the future of my baby, his health, his concept of life….and also for me, my health and also for our relationship. I learned how hormones work, how our bodies work…I lost almost all fear and what has remained was respect and trust.
When the day finally came I was at 40 weeks 5 days. I could not sleep that night, only about 4 hours and woke up to a slight pain in the morning (about 7am). My husband was asleep next to me. I had a feeling that my water might break (can’t explain it) but when I went to the toilet nothing happened. I sat there a while disappointed and told my son that I was looking forward to giving birth today and suddenly when I stood up, a trickle went down my leg…I had just peed so it must have been my water, I thought. I washed myself in the bath where something bloody came out (my plug) and when I went to my knees to dry off the mess I made on the floor, another trickle came out that was when I realized I needed to put something between my legs or I will be cleaning after myself the whole day I also realized that this was finally it. I was soooo happy.
tear but I wanted him out and didn’t care anymore. One contraction, big push and his head was out. Bit of waiting for another contraction and the rest of him came. Midwife only helped him down to the mat and I immediately sat down and took him to my arms. He appeared so big (3,77kg) and cried a lot. I think he also didn’t like the long pushing. My big beautiful healthy boy was here. It was 9:32pm 23.12.2015. My husband cried.